Time is our teacher *9 months down*

When Brian got orders to South Korea for a year it hit me like a ton of bricks. It seemed like such a long time to be away and we knew we would be facing many hurtles along the way.  I was 18 weeks pregnant when he left and decided the best place for me at the time was to live with my parents in Florida. (Great decision!) I wanted so badly for time to hurry up so we could be together again and hold our baby girl! Everything went so perfect and I felt so lucky he got to come home for Makenzie's birth but knew in the back of my head he would be leaving again to go back. He left and I have to say I didn't know what to think. I felt fine. I felt sad. I felt scared. I felt angry! That time with our new baby girl was supposed to be shared with my husband and I together as a family. And that wasn't going to happen. One of the greater disappointments for me to deal with during this tour was the over all sense of the loss of time. Think of all the things that happen in a year plus of time, you know? You can't get time back, not even by grieving its loss. Poof! Every second that passes is just gone. It broke my heart knowing all of the great things he would be missing out on in Makenzie's first 11 months of life. For a while there I was really down in the dumps thinking about "how it should have been", and I would get so angry! I realized though that thinking in such a way was not fair to Kenzie, Brian, or myself and I am a stronger person because of them. I keep reminding myself when things get to be too much that I AM STRONG! I HAVE TO STAY STONG! We can do this! We are 9 months in and I find myself feeling "ok". Of coarse I have my moments of pitty but only let myself go there for a split second. Its just not worth it. We have our routines down and talk on a regular basis. Kenzie is our main focus of topic and it's so cool to see her starting to react to things Brian does over FaceTime. Time is passing by! I think once January hits we will see the light at then end of the tunnel. I calculated and figured out that if he comes home mid May then he will have been gone a total of 473ish days! Wow! We ONLY have 170ish days to go! That sounds terrible but what do you do. Found this quote  and liked it...

"Time is the cruelest teacher; first she gives the test, then she teaches the lesson"- Unknown

Kenzie is 4 months!

Baby girl,

Let me just start off by saying that you have the most beautiful, awesome personality! This month you have really come out of your shell but you are still pretty laid back for the most part. You smile so much and are such a joy to be around... most of the time! You had a HUGE growth spurt which comes with one fussy baby but in the end was very rewarding with a new accomplishment! You rolled from your back to your belly 4 times in a row! I missed the first one because I was doing laundry and looked over and there you were on your belly. I think daddy liked this since he wasn't there to see it either. I caught it on video though and I almost cried I was so excited for you! One thing that is becoming more and more present is your teething. You will chew and chew and chew on anything you can put in your mouth! With this brought tons of drooling haha! Your grandma keeps on insisting to put bibs on you but for some reason I think they are ugly and take away from your cute outfits! But I will say that she has a point and they are a very practical solution. I just don't tell her that! At your 4 month check up you weighed 13.5 lbs and 25 in long. Your pediatrician said you are one long, petite little lady! Like mother, like daughter because I was the same. I found a picture of me when I was around your age and it is a spitting image of you! As you get older though you are looking more like your daddy for sure! This month was October so we went to the pumpkin patch and I was so excited to get a cute picture of you with the pumpkins. That didn't happen! You were so fussy that entire day and we got a pretty awesome picture to prove it. I guess I should have known better! Something really fun that I did before summer came to an end was paint our piggies! Your fat little feet with coral toe nail polish was just so adorable! Next summer we will have to do that more often! Your cousin Addison kept saying "Baby Kenzie has painted toes!" You love each other so much and I'm sure will have a close bond as you both get older. One of my favorite moments with you now is when I'm getting ready and have you in the bumbo chair. I have it facing the mirror and you will just stair and smile at the other baby! Your just so cute! Another pretty cool thing you did this month was while talking with daddy on FaceTime. He said your name and you looked at him and smiled! It made us sooo happy since he is so far away. I hope so badly that you know he is your daddy when he comes home. He watches you all the time and I can see so much love for you in his eyes. Your a very loved little girl. I'm so lucky to be your momma and my love for you will never go away!

Love,

Momma